B.A. Baracus is of course the “muscle” for the group of outlaw, fugitive, renegade, outlaws known as the A-Team. Baracus is a pro all the way. Ex Special Forces, currently working as a soldier of fortune while surviving in the Los Angeles underground. Mr. Baracus is on the run for a crime he didn’t commit. Well, that’s his story, I’m not a lawyer. Other things I’m not? Doctor, pilot, stunt-man, coherent, sober.
His weaknesses are well documented but will only get you so far. He’s afraid of flying and yet, somehow ridiculously susceptible to being drugged into unconsciousness shortly before planned flights he’s earlier expressed reluctance to taking part in.
He wears dozens of cumbersome gold chains around his neck, but what does that really give you, advantage-wise? Does it suggest vanity? Obsession with material wealth? Greater resistance to beheading attempts? Unknown.
If you’re looking for a pattern (and you should be) one of Baracus’ tell-tale maneuvers is squaring off against an opposing group's equally beefed-up thug. Inevitably, a guy who closely resembles B.A. body-wise but is of another ethnicity. For example: giant, muscular Asian guy, giant, muscular redneck, giant, muscular Samoan guy, etc.
According to the footage I’ve seen, this fellow is usually introduced when "Face," one of Baracus’ teammates, would attempt to take the large guy on after dispatching many lesser foes, only to hurt his hand punching the man’s barrel chest. At which point B.A. would step in and the real fight would begin. A fight often culminating in Baracus hurling his dispatched foe, in slow-motion, over a camera that’s been placed on the ground and pointed skyward.
By now, while studying footage, you’ll have heard Baracus utter a certain phrase several times. Don’t be baited by it. Beware, while he does "pity fools" this is IN NO WAY REFLECTED IN DISPLAYS OF MERCIFUL BEHAVIOR! He feels bad for you, and the fact that you’re a fool and that we live in a world that contains fools, but he won’t shed a tear for you. He will make YOU shed tears like a box of rattlesnakes sheds skins. You know how awful you just felt after reading that clunky analogy? THAT’S NOTHING COMPARED TO HOW BARACUS’ FISTS WILL MAKE YOU FEEL. Afterward he’ll try to beat up the box of rattlesnakes as well, so you’re kind of nature’s last line of defense here.
The way to beat Baracus is by disguising yourself as his team leader John “ Hannibal ” Smith. No doubt you’ve heard of Mr. Smith’s unique skill-set and are daunted by this part of the plan. Don’t be. Hannibal is the “Master of 1000 Disguises,” all of them unconvincing. Capable of portraying everything from an unlikely toll-booth operator to a man who is clearly not a Texas oil baron. Give the phrase “Master of Disguise” as used here no more weight than you would when finding it printed across a box containing a fake mustache, nerd glasses and polka dot bowtie. While dressed as Hannibal hand Baracus a glass of sedative, making no effort to disguise it at all. In fact, feel free to mark it as SEDATIVE in a bright bold font; he’ll still drink it down without a second look. Load him onto an airplane (To keep him in a terrified state on the off chance the sedative wears off) wait until the “fasten seat belt” sign is turned off and then happily begin battering Baracus at 80, 000 feet.
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