Oh really? Does attacking a man helping a kitten sound horrible to you? I'm sorry, I thought we were in the "how-to-beat-up" business, not the "cupcakes and pretty unicorns" business. (Yes, I know the membership cards say "Cupcakes and Unicorns Association" but as I said, that was a printing mistake. Deal with it.) Maybe you don't have the heart for this. Or the balls. Or the stomach. Come to think of it, I think you're missing numerous body parts crucial to winning battles.
If the mere fact that a man is helping a sweet-faced, fur-covered ball of heavenliness will stop you from punching him in the forehead, I'm not sure you're cut out for this. But I guess, if you really need motivation, you could imagine the man intends to do harm to the kitten. And honestly, who's to say what he's done in his life, prior to deciding to help out an innocent sparkly-eyed slice of adorable. He could be evil. Helping one kitten does not wipeout a lifetime of violence and tyranny (the judge was quite clear on this.) The point is, conjure the motivation you require because at some point in your life you might need to fight a man helping a scared kitten out of a tree. In fact, I can almost guarantee it.
Wait for the man to begin climbing the tree before you strike. Kill time by milling about with the other other concerned onlookers, occasionally looking up at the kitten and saying something like "Man, it sure is pleasing to my eyes, how he approximates human emotions with his animal-head. It's almost like he has greater intelligence than science tells us is possible... That lil' S.O.B... He's got some nerve acting like a people, but I for one like it." Feel free to read grammatically inaccurate sayings attributed to cats, as found on the internet, in the voice of the stuck kitten. This will win over the crowd.
As soon as the man starts climbing, quickly begin climbing the opposite side of the tree. Catch up to him, then begin battering him in the calf and thigh region. He will be OUTRAGED. Some of the crowd who'd previously been on your side, will have their allegiance tested. They may yell "What the hell are you doing?!? He's trying to help!" Immediately stop punching the man. If he kicks at you climb down the tree until out of range. Assure everyone, including the man, that you don't know what came over you, and that you're done punching his thigh. Make eye contact. If you can hold your hands out with palms up in a conciliatory manner, without falling out of the tree, do so now.
As soon as he looks back towards the kitten, move up and begin punching him in the calf and thigh again. Make these punches count, while maintaining your balance on the tree. If you fall at this point, the angry mob (formerly known as the crowd) will definitely maul you to death. If some of them are feeling heroic and begin climbing up behind you, kick at the tops of their heads while continuing to fight the man.
Grab the man by a single lapel and pull him towards the ground, over your head. With a quick motion use gravity to hurl him to the ground. Again, using gravity, leap from the tree, aiming for the man's ample stomach. Land on the man's stomach with both feet. He will emit a sound like a popped balloon in a cartoon flying around the yard. He might say "Yowee!" His stomach will collapse and then expand rapidly, like a cushion, propelling you high into the air and over the nearby fence, to safety. Run away.
When you meet up back at your hideout give the kitten an extra portion of food and an extra headscratch. You both did your jobs today, and no one got hurt except that one guy and some other people.
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