A few people have suggested a how-to for this Peter Parker fellow. To be honest, I don't see much of a challenge here. Let's take a look - bookish, nerdy-type, keeps to himself, and somehow lucked himself into a cushy job selling photos to the Daily Bugle... Uhhh, help me out here guys, what am I missing?? This dude's a total zero and not worthy of our time. This fight should be a cake walk, as HE IS COMPLETELY HARMLESS. This guy sits around all day whining about his Aunt May, getting yelled at by the editor of the Bugle, and then sheepishly kicking at the dirt with his head down anytime a girl walks by. Riiiigght. Reeeaalll intimidating.
Um, approach him and sock him in the head with whatever you feel like throwing. He'll crumble up and blow away just like that guy in the Charles Atlas ads said that other guy in the Charles Atlas ads would do. I honestly can’t imagine A SINGLE THING going wrong. You talk about your born losers, this guy is top o' the list. I mean, what's he gonna do? Take a photo of you kicking his ass? Here's your headline: "NERD GETS STOMPED." No charge for that one, Parker, you DORK.
I could see if we were talking about fighting his buddy Flash Thompon. That guy's a ringer. Tall, athletic build, with a background in sports. That's a dude worth strategizing for. Or even his pal Harry Osbourne's dad, Norman. He's a real alpha-male, go-getter type, used to succeeding in all that he does, and a totally worthy foe.
But Parker?? Tsk, who's next? Washed up scientist Bruce Banner? Frail, cane-wielding physician Dr. Donald Blake? That bald-headed teacher in the wheelchair always hanging out with those weirdos? C'mon, let's get serious, guys...
Not sure what Peter's doing in the image to the left either. Inventing a device that shoots desperation and failure, maybe? Good luck, dumbass...
Recent Comments