You beat up a monkey with a hammer the same way you beat up a monkey without a hammer, with one difference. The addition of the extra step: AVOID GETTING HIT IN THE FACE BY THE MONKEY'S HAMMER. Otherwise, it's identical.
If you do end up taking a full-force, monkey-swung, hammer-shot to the noggin - IMMEDIATELY - regardless of which step of "beating up an unarmed monkey" you are on, STOP. Then go directly to the following step: AVOID A FOLLOW UP SHOT TO THE FACE FROM THE MONKEY'S HAMMER. This is kind of a big one. If you had to skip a step from the plan, due to time constraints, or whatever, I'd strongly urge you to skip "bow to your monkey opponent" or even, "gloat over your defeated monkey rival" before you decided to omit this much more important step.
If this proves impossible and the monkey strikes you once again, in the cranium, with the wrought-iron hammer swung with centuries of muscle-memory imbued simian might. DO NOT PANIC. That's crucial... However, not as crucial as what I'm about to tell you, PLEASE DO YOUR BEST TO AVOID THE MONKEY'S NEXT HAMMER BLOW. Could we just fucking focus on that? Please? I mean, really, really try.
If he manages to strike you again, in the head region, with that hammer he clearly loooooves swinging so much... Um, it's cool. Totally no big deal. Just shimmy backwards away from the monkey on your hands and rear as quickly as you are able. Wipe the blood and tears from your eyes and various head wounds. You're still in this fight, so remain calm. You can do this, champ! However, if when looking around you happen to spot a loved one or someone you have urgent business or affairs with, you may want to shout any important information at them. Location of valuables, life insurance, etc. If you want. It's cool, really. I'm just saying, if eye contact is made and there's an issue there, maybe take care of it?
If the monkey connects again, I'd definitely look over to the loved ones we just talked about. Is one of them a person who you've secretly been in love with but never had the heart to tell? Probably go ahead and tell that person, as fast as you can. And I have to wonder why it didn't occur to you that a better time to have addressed this would've been two days ago, possibly right after you said "Hey, wanna come watch me kick the shit out of a monkey? You do? Great! No, no, they don't have hammers, as far as I know."
If hammer blow number nine connects, you are very quickly running out of blood, brain matter, time, consciousness and options. Your last and final maneuver should be to quickly scan your loved ones, locate the biggest one and shout, with your last breath: "Avenge me!!!"
if you have managed to avoid all hammers blows, and you've followed the alternate instructions as directed - detailing how you should lure the monkey to a junk yard under the guise of buying cheap car parts - you should look up to see a giant magnet hanging over the monkey's head. Signal the foreman to activate the magnet.
The hammer will fly from the monkey's hands towards the magnet. Next to hit the magnet will be his belt buckle, which will cause the monkey's pants to drop, filling him with either great shame or great pride, depending on the monkey you've selected. Finally, the metal fillings in his teeth will cause him to hit the magnet and remain caught there. Once again signal the foreman and he'll lower the magnet to ground level. Now pummel the monkey stuck to the magnet as you would a speed bag.
Thanks to the great Ariel Schrag for her custom "hammer-wielding monkey" drawing. An invaluable addition to the quite limited database currently available on fending off monkeys with hammers.
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