How To Beat Up Anything

I can already hear your confused questions: "Wait, what?  Why the hell is this happening? Do Mark Wahlberg and this dinosaur know each other?  Or did they just meet up here randomly a minute ago? And why do they want to fight me?  Is this is a dream?  What do Mark Wahlberg and this dinosaur do together when they're not trying to fight me? 

Did Mark Wahlberg summon this thing from the past with a time machine? Or merely discover a dino egg that he then nurtured with love and tenderness, until it hatched out from under him and the specially made "dino-egg nest pillow" he'd been squatting on?" 

The answers are: DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.  You've got a creature with a walnut-size brain to fight, and he's got a dinosaur with him.  Honestly, it really doesn't matter "why."  Let's just say they like each other’s company and connect on some level.  Now, the only tool you'll need for this fight is a toaster with an extra long extension cord.  Plug it in and set it aside, it'll come into play later...  Tackle Wahlberg first. A quick glance at the threat he poses can seem daunting, due to the following: 

1) He's from Boston, which is very impressive to people from Boston.